FaceSpace

So I sit here, on my couch, with one major question weighing on my mind. You ask, is it the economy? The housing crisis? Will crude oil eventually rise again, leaving all SUV drivers crapping their pants at the pump? (Which, by the way, would make a great channel 4 news segment) No. No. No. The question I’m faced with is that age-old night before New Year’s Eve predicament that many like me have faced in times’ past: do I go out tonight and risk wasting my resources the night before the big bash??? What I mean is, tonight is like the JV game before the Varsity hits the floor. Or you know how at NASCAR races there are like, 8 races before the main race on Sunday….kinda like that. You see, I could easily go out tonight, knowing that I can sleep in tomorrow but should I go that route, I don’t know that I’ll have the energy to do it all over again manana. Life is full of uphill battles, challenges, and forks in the road. Whatever my decision, I have my great upbringing to thank.

The nice thing about this time of year is my work schedule. More specifically, my non-work schedule. My company shuts down over the holidays leaving me with a lot of good intentions for home improvement, volunteering, and self-betterment. But really, all it ever means is me not shaving for 2 weeks and a lot of movie watching and catching up on The Office reruns. In all honesty, I look homeless. In fact, no disrespect to homeless people, but I look worse then homeless. My beard isn’t so much a typical beard that lands on most dude’s cheeks, but rather the ever desired and mostly Euro neck-beard. It’s itchy and starting to connect with the hair on my neck. That’s normal, right?

The other news in my life kind of big. I finally joined the masses and started a Facebook profile. I have rejected the idea ever since a friend back in California told me about MySpace and how it changed her life forever. My response: lame. Find a hobby, a boyfriend, or try watching more TV, but MySpace? Seriously? Well, here I am, checking it everyday like a crack addict. I CANNOT get enough!! What’s worse is I’ve had that last week and a half off work and all I do is sit and stare at the computer. I must look like the lamest dude ever because anytime someone writes on my wall (Facebook lingo), I respond within 30 seconds. I’m that kid in school that never got dates and just waited by the phone…..for it to NEVER ring!! I mean, what a nerd!

But this Facebook thing is a lot more serious then one would think. There’s a whole strategy involved. How many friends do you have? How many people have you asked to be friends with…..and have said no?!?! I feel like the popular kid at the lunch table when someone asks to join my friend list. It’s an immediate ego boost! But then, when you reach out to someone and write on their wall and they never respond, you’re once inflated ego quickly deflates and you remember you’re just a loser on a couch growing a beard!

What’s with these overachievers that rent out bars for New Years? We all know these people. They’re the ones that partner with your local bar/pub/club/crap-hole that serves booze, to offer fancy purple wristbands for $100 a pop to any sucker willing to fork over the benjamins. Problem is, we all do it! Here’s my hundy, now point me in the direction of the huge dude-fest where they are serving substandard drinks at a premium price and every guy has on a sport coat and t-shirt with jeans. Yea, and when did that become the standard uniform of choice for guys going out? Don’t’ get me wrong, I’ve got buddies that pull it off with ease but this really is an epidemic. I’m vetoing the sport coat t-shirt thing and going straight gangster. That’s right, I’m rocking a beard, bed-head, I may or may not brush my teeth, and if I get thrown out before midnight than that leaves me plenty of time to come home, work on my neck-beard, and check my Facebook page! I guess this is growing up.