Let me begin by apologizing to the four people that read this blog...I realize it’s been a while since my last post (roughly 6 months) and my guess is you’ve either missed me terribly or completely forgotten about me. In either case, I’m back with a slew of updates that need sharing and I vow to keep ‘em coming through 2010! That said, let’s get into it.
I’m writing from my Dad’s house, located in a small town in southeastern Minnesota, a town of roughly a thousand people. I’ve made this trip for Thanksgiving for a few years now and I’m always taken by how relaxed, how nonchalant, and how unaware of the outside world this little town is. It’s the perfect getaway when you want to turn off your cell phone and simply get lost. It’s basically America’s version of Juarez, Mexico.
As my summer travels came to an end, I encountered a number of restaurants that referred to a ‘California burger’, and I was told the same thing every time...a California burger was a burger with avocado slices...that’s it. That’s it? Really?! Having been born and raised in California I can speak first hand that there are zero restaurants with a ‘California burger’ on the menu. You’re telling me that if I throw some avocado in the mix, all of a sudden I’ve got a California burger? Even more bizarre, I’ve had California omelets, California pizza, and worst of all, a California smoothie. Do me a favor, future restauranteurs of America, stick to what you know. If you’re gonna make a California anything, then I’ll be expecting higher taxes, houses no one can afford, and waiters...I mean struggling models/actors/singers, with their head shots in their back pocket.
Final thought on summer; it’s funny how I do things now that I also did in college, only then it was on a much tighter budget. For example, I recently went to Chicago to see U2 at Soldier Field (amazing) and I can only imagine what our trip would have been like had I still been in college. In college, it would have been 9 dudes in a hotel room built for 4. Pre-concert dinner would have consisted of Busch Light and corn dogs. And if more than half of us managed to not pass out prior to U2 actually taking the stage, the trip would have been deemed a wild success. As it was, our accommodations were quite comfortable, dinner was served by a dude in a tie overlooking the city, and all of us survived the entire concert, including the encore. As my man Rosco would say, “life doesn’t suck.”
As I mentioned, I’m in Minnesota for Thanksgiving and the one thing that’s always bugged me is why people eat so early on Thanksgiving. When did that start? Don’t get me wrong, I’ll eat turkey and that’s a wrap, I’m down for the count, so eating at noon is actually beneficial. But there’s something mysterious about eating dinner at noon, taking a 4 hour nap, then waking up at 7pm with one thought: am I supposed to eat dinner now, or what?
Because I’ve been negligent and not blogged in so long, I’ve got a few topics weighing heavy on my mind:
- Why is it that no matter where I am, every time I turn on the radio, 96.3 is a hip-hop station?
- Is changing your Facebook relationship status the kiss of death, similar to getting a tattoo of that person’s name?
- Is it just me, or have you ever had a conversation with someone using multiple channels of communication (text, BBM, g-chat) with no cross-pollination or mention of the fact that it’d be easier if you both just picked up the phone like they did in the ’90’s?
- Recently someone complained to me that they hate when they sit down and the toilet seat is cold. My response was simple, I’d rather it be cold then disturbingly warm.
- Does anyone wear Ed Hardy anymore?
- I recently accomplished a feat that, like a solar eclipse, happens only once every 7 years....I finished a roll of floss. Think about it, when was the last time you knocked out a roll of floss?
And finally, the other part about getting together with extended family once or twice a year is introducing them to the person you are currently dating. Now this is an extremely nerve-racking endeavor, not suitable for the faint of heart. There’s the prepping of the person your dating about any situations that may go down around the dinner table that might catch them off-guard. You have to complete portions of your past that you may have previously glossed over. Also, it’s your job to act as the ultimate wingman, and never let that person die a slow death, stuck in a corner with that one relative that insists on sharing news of their most recent visit to the proctologist. And finally, that cute and playful teasing you do in your private lives together isn’t so funny in front of your distant aunt’s and uncle’s. Overall though, it’s been a great trip, and I’m already looking forward to Christmas. My only suggestion, a few avocado slices to garnish the plum pudding. I guess this is growing up.
